Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What seemingly minor decision or moment in your past ended up having a massive impact on your entire life trajectory?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

2026 NFL mock draft: Version 1.0 from expert has Steelers finding Big Ben's replacement as 5 QBs go Round 1 - CBS Sports

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Meta Stock Hits Three-Month High After AI Ad Automation Report; Advertising Stocks Fall - Investor's Business Daily

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

‘Strawberry Moon’ June 2025: See The Lowest Full Moon Since 2006 - Forbes

I can count

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

17 more Rite Aid stores to close in WA, including 4 Bartell Drugs - The Seattle Times

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

23andMe Sets New Auction With $305 Million New Bid From Ex-CEO - Bloomberg

I know who the president of Turkey really is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

In space, no one can hear you scream — But it still gets incredibly noisy - Salon.com

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Do you as a gay male enjoy the feeling of getting a penis in your anus?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I see through liars

Agent-based computing is outgrowing the web as we know it - VentureBeat

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why do so many men wait until they are retired or close to it to start having sex with Men? Most of them say they have always wanted to suck dick or be fucked. Why did you wait?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet